~
G. is telling me about the long sentences he is typing for
The Neighborhood News, a sheet he puts together and stuffs in the mailboxes of two neighbors. So I tell him how Proust is famous for long sentences. He asks me about Proust—am I going to write a biography of Proust?—No.—Am I going to write a poem about Proust?—Oh. I don’t know. Something like that’s possible. We’re raking leaves. After a pause G. says—“If I was famous for long sentences I’d lock myself in the janitor’s closet.” Which is, if my biography of Proust is correct, sort of what Proust did to
write those sentences.
~
A piece of rigmarole scrawl’d a few days back and lost in the shuffle. Something about how whatever there is of me, besides
me, and that “me” ’s a precarious thing (all things being so, first, and self-assessment and –remembrance a nigh impossible thing, second)—so that whatever there is of me is caught up and diffused out in the living brainpans of any who
know “me.” (Call it a metaphorickal me—just so’s my rosy-cheek’d blushables subside.) Mental photograph of a “me” grinning resides in San Francisco in the head of a blonde. Way of “me” tugging my earlobe is domicile’d in Geneva, Switzerland. Voice here, nails there. Who’s got the little piece that’ll outlive all th’others—that’ll last the longest when my physical “thing” (call it a body—call it a rosy-cheek’d body) goes? Oddly enough, it could be “held” by someone “I” have “forgotten,” or someone “I” never “knew.” Just as “I” “hold” the sour pouty look of a complete stranger, you who glanced passingly at me in my troubled perplexity and lizard-eyed frown—you may’ve captured that look (or been captured by it!) That’s the kind of morass “one” gets increasingly “stuck into”—dotty sign of “my” present period? Or dangerous, our monomaniackal insipid shredding of “self”? Time for self-agency to report! “The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways; the point is to change it.”
~
Random notes. Apparently a spontaneous demonstration against the Bush “victory” broke out Saturday afternoon. One shout:
“Republicans killed Socrates and tons of Iraqis.” Sign stuck to a bicycle in the public library racks:
“My other bicycle is a pipe bomb.”
~
Trace of ammonia in the air, telltale birdlime splashes painting (sparsely for now) the sidewalks. It’s getting cold enough that the crows’re starting to roost nights in town, blowing in like big burnt curls, charcoal paper cuttings, carboniferous, hoarse.
~
Friday evening off to listen to the Kopelman Quartet. Mikhail Kopelman and Boris Kuschnir (violins), Igor Sulyga (viola), Mikhail Milman (cello). Mostly I watch’d Kopelman who play’d like a puppet-on-a-stick, sitting ramrod straight on a chair, with arms and legs in near-constant motion. And Kuschnir, with a large sad white comic’s physiognomy, all mouth-droop and brow-motion, with hands like big paws, too big for th’instrument. I’m a near-idiot regarding “classical” music. The first piece—by Prokofiev (“String Quartet No. 2 in F Major, Op. 92,” for the cognoscenti)—remind’d me somewhat of Gershwin. (I’d riffled the program and skimmed notes to a Prokofiev piece, something about clowns, and throughout the piece I “inwardly nodded”—oh yes, I see, that’s clownish, &c. Turns out what I’d read were notes to
another Prokofiev piece (Suite from
The Love for Three Oranges, Op. 33)—“the only cure is laughter . . . the Prince overcomes all obstacles and wins the three giant oranges . . . the chorus comes to the rescue with a big bucket of water”—, scheduled for performance
Tuesday by the St. Petersburg Philharmonic Orchestra.
Other pieces: Nikolai Miaskovsky’s “String Quartet No. 13 in a minor, Op. 86” and Tchaikovsky’s “String Quartet No. 3 in e-flat minor, Op. 30.” The latter interrupt’d by a minuscule scrumptious snooze.
~
Scroogin’ (on a Sunday afternoon). Rascals G. and I lit up the starship Lumina for the (short) trajectory to the grocery planet, hoist’d the radiophonic jib and pull’d down (I say, Pull down thy sanity!) (at random) a version of early Jackson 5—“I Saw Mommy Kissin’ Santa Claus.” Turns out we’d land’d—with our prehensile knob fingers—in an audio heap right atop something like “All Holiday Radio”—“the 24 / 4 holiday hits station.” Now
there’s some beefy programming for you. Sure enough (later), Luther Vandross’s sloe-gin-inflect’d voice inflict’d “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” on us. And sure enough, the grocery planet’s bedeck’d (that’s the official lingo, insidious, ain’t it) with Christmas “goods.” Here in the country of “all conspicuous consumption, all the time.” “I plead a lesion’d tooth, flag . . . to spend and spend and spend and spend.” And at the end of Michael Jackson’s pre-pubescent shrieking, the shriek of the post-atomic nightmare baby (remember “Puppy Love”? “Somebody help me, help me, help me, please . . .”) caught in the crosshairs of rampant know-nothing consumerist frenzy of the last half-century, at the end Michael Jackson’s claiming Santa’s seen doin’ the darnedest thing, and Michael yelps, “I did, I did, I really did. You just
got to believe me.” To which Jermaine, in the fadeout, but clearly enough, replies:
“Shut up, Michael.” Which is how it feels post-election, pre-holiday wallow, here in the “American Century.”
~
Proust Notes 10
The nonchalance of the Wildean life imitating art “stance” here, wholly atmospheric, and seemingly blown up out of nowhere: “On fine days, I continued to go to the Champs-Élysées, through streets of elegant pink houses which, because there were a great many exhibitions of water-colourists at that time, were washed by the subdued and variable light of pastel skies.”
And how style is a stain, a spreading all-encompassing ecliptic:
All the productions of a particular time look alike; the artists who illustrate the poems of a certain period are the same ones who are employed by its banking houses. There is nothing more evocative of certain episodes of Hugo’s Notre-Dame de Paris, or works by Gérard de Nerval, as I used to see them displayed outside the grocer’s shop in Combray, than the river divinities wielding the beflowered rectangle which frames a share certificate issued by the Compagnie des Eaux.
If one reads a shabby paperback copy of
The Crying of Lot 49, with a
its cover a ’sixties Pop item—ink and primary colors, Oedipa Maas (with drummer) looking like, say, Nancy Sinatra, how different is that compared to reading the same book with a ’nineties stylized post-horn abstract for cover? That’s one thing. The other is how the Proust lines plunge me back into a “half-bath” of my youth done up in pre-graffiti’d wallpaper—earth tones and block-letter scrawling, complete with variant handwriting for supposed exchanges (“What do you think of Western Civilization?” “I think it’d be a good idea.”)—same late-’sixties style. ’Sixties stock certificates?
Aucune idée, mon pote.
~
Rather’n make a big gabble of Proust notes henceforth, getting up an accumulation for false-nimbic reasons of “heft,” I’ll simply toss down whatever jottings emerge in
at emergence. And “clump” whatever I do (toss) under a number’d banner, just for “location” ’s sake—even if it be one sorry scribble.
~
To work.